Entry #1

Well, here is the long-awaited "Lifestyle Writing" that I claim to do! Lol. 2025 has been a year. Truly. Most importantly, I have learned things this year that I believe are so important to the development of myself, and how I will navigate life going forward.

This year has been filled with great music and good books! I recently finished 1984 by George Orwell (as an English major, I am very late to the game). I purchased it on my Kindle, and it sat at 20% completion for the last couple of months, but I pushed myself to finish it. Overall, it was a good read, especially within our climate. You see a lot of parallels to the point it's terrifying. I only read 1984 because it was on the list of banned books, and I encourage all of you to read all the banned books you can get your hands on. But anywho, into the philosophy I have to give.

They call it the October canon event. When I first heard that phrase, I thought it was silly, but oh my god. Prior to this event, I had already kind of sorta ended a relationship, which is now in a weird situationship where I am still pondering what I want, but my canon event pushed me into this mindful thinking. I am overly sensitive. I tend to overthink and overreact before I can put my big girl pants on and critically think and reach a solution. Basically, I felt left out for the first time in a long time, and I personally rank that feeling in the top 5 of worst emotional feelings to ever have, especially at the hands of people you  consider friends. And for a little bit, I let it go, but that sort of thing changes your brain chemistry. When unpacking my thoughts, I wondered: Why it affected me so much? Why couldn't I accept the apology and move on? The answer was that I could not understand why that would happen to me, because as a friend, I would never.

And this unpacked a whole new revelation. I understood this a little bit through prior romantic relationships, but this smacked me right in the face. I was expecting what I gave to be given back in the same capacity, but, news flash, that's never how it truly works. And that is why I felt so strongly about it. When that moment happened, it felt like that meme with the rabbit and the clock. As time does, it continues and we take these lessons to apply them in the future. Like my mother says, "Not everyone is your friend." I do believe in the October canon events; hell, I trekked through one and almost cut everyone off. Do I hold resentment? No, in fact, now I can truly say that I am past that point. Am I the same person? No, and though that thought seemed terrifying to me at one point, it is all part of growing up (cue Ribs by Lorde). I still like the people I surround myself with, of course, but to a different extent now.

We take these lessons. They will either make you or break you, but don’t worry, you will always emerge stronger than you were going in. What I like to say all the time is that things sometimes have to reach rock bottom so that there is no other way to go but up. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Lol! I hope my vulnerability left you with something.

Remember to stay curious and stay compassionate. Until next time, take care of yourselves and others.